


Post-Bathhouse Peptalks (Leblanc Edition)

by Akan0_P



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Akira gives himself a pep talk, Akira is a bit OOC, Akira is most likely gay, Akira is one HELL of a sass master, Crack, Crack Fic, Daily Routine, Face Masks, Gay, Gen, Inspired by an Instagram post, Max stats, Me? writing something happy?, Morgana is there just not there, Morning Routine, Sass, Thicc!Akira, a whole lot of self esteem, and records it, bathouse, cursing, i love this man, if you know what i mean, more likely than you think, whole lotta crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-17 01:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14822354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akan0_P/pseuds/Akan0_P
Summary: Akira just came back from a nice, warming trip to the bathhouse. He's feeling a little cocky today and gives himself a pep talk before him and his friends venture into the dark tresses of Mementos. Little does he realize that recording it might've been a bad decision...





	Post-Bathhouse Peptalks (Leblanc Edition)

**Author's Note:**

> This entire crack fic was inspired by this Instagram post that I found in my archive:  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/Be4McyUAGOM/?saved-by=james3rdofficial
> 
> Akira is a little bit OOC but the video gives a visual representation, I suggest watching it. Enjoy!

**11/23 - Sunday  
AKIRA HAS:** 5 Knowledge, 5 Guts, 5 Kindness, 5 Proficiency, and 29309257 Charm

“Haaaa….” Akira exhaled in relief.

Akira had just come back from the bath house, feeling fresh as ever. Hair pulled back by his signature red hair clip, nails looking dashing as ever, and face garnished in a green face mask. Clean, ravishing, beautiful, He read to himself, the dramatic tone of his mind only boosting his esteem. Taking out his phone, the boy joined the Phantom Thieves group chat.

> **Ann:** Hey Joker are we still heading to Mementos today?
> 
> **Ryuji:** hell yeaaaa! I’ve been wantin’ to kick some shadow ass lately
> 
> **Yusuke:** I am able to be there sometime this morning. Is that a good time for everyone?
> 
> **Makoto:** I have to help Sis with some things first, how does 10:30 sound?
> 
> **Haru:** Perfect~!
> 
> **Futaba:** I’ll be there~ :3
> 
> **Akira:** Then it’s decided.

The teen checked his phone again, _10:00AM_ , it read. _Oh shit._

Akira Kurusu was a man of many talents, but one of them did not include proper time management (at least he _thought_ ). _10:15AM_. He stood in front of a body-length mirror propped up against the wall he had bought from the hundred-yen store, gawking at his dazzling appearance. Taking out his phone, and pressing “record”, he raised an exaggerated hand to his chin, his eyes curved to a seductive slant.

“Well _hello_ there, _you!_ ” he chuckled haughtily. The ravenet leaned his forearm on the edge of the mirror, his face contorting into a provocative gaze, giving himself a once over.

In his best sexy-tone-of-voice he whispered, _“Do you come here often~?”_

After a small pause for wiggling eyebrows, Akira took his arm away from the mirror, placing a hand on his hip, and cat walked closer to the mirror, “you _are_ the bitch.” 

“You are,” he waved a superlicious hand, pointing toward his reflection, “ _that_ bitch.”

His stance wavered between overbearing and seductive like a light switch. Akira shifted his weight, waving his appendages at his other self, “you are _the only and only, **bitch.**_ ” 

Then, he sauntered closer to the mirror, lifting his sweater up and observing his butt, “oh my god, is he getting thicc?” 

“ _HELL_ no, but he still is the **SHIT!** ” Akira continued his stupid peptalk, cackling at himself.

“Akira, you better fuck it up,” he slurred.

“You better _fuck it up,_ Akira,” he sassily waved 

“ _Yeaaa~_ You better F-U-C-K-I-T-U-P, _**BITCH**_ ,” He was crouching on the ground, an arm draped over his jean-clad thigh and the other abutting his phone. He chuckled again, getting up, only to quickly crouch again for one last: “FUCK IT UP!” 

Kurusu once again leaned on the edge of the mirror, “Aaaaahhh!” He screamed in a _totally manly way_. His tone returned to the same sexy tone before with a hint of blonde-valley-girl, “Ohmigod, I didn’t see you there…” his eyelids drooped, “ _who are you~?_ ” He moaned, “ _oooohh…_ ”

Once again, the secret mega sass master stood away from the mirror, his mien screamed confidence, “DJ... _bump my shit,_ ” and with a quick flick of his remote, his TV began to play _Last Surprise_ , a popular song circulating Japan as of recently. 

Akira began to dance provocatively and laughing to himself before looking up at his phone only to realize it was 10:25. The teen quickly pressed the end-recording button and proceeded to peel off his face mask, just in time because he could hear Ryuji’s familiar laugh in the cafe below. And he exhaled. 

 

 

He wasn’t sure _how_ exactly it happened, but he assumed his phone must’ve fallen out of his pocket. _And Futaba was the one to pick it up._ Akira immediately regretting taking that video because once she got a hold of his cellular device, she began searching it like a vulture watching its prey. One part of her search was scanning through every tiny detail of his camera roll. She clicked the video, despite Akira’s desperate pleas to leave it be. 

The video began to play and Akira balled himself up, shaking his knees against his chest, and rocking himself back and forth, telling himself that all would be okay. _(It was not okay)_ His friends gathered around to see what Futaba was gawking at with surprised eyes. 

“ _Joker…_ ” Ryuji began, “what the hell is this?” he tried to say but ended up trailing off between muffled laughter.

Mask-clad Akira looked at his previously green-coated face and sighed, “I was...feeling good about myself after a trip to the bath house-”

Makoto cut him off, “do you do this often? Because I would hazard to guess that no beginner would be able to pull of moves such as _ **...those…**_ ” If Akira were standing next to Haru’s tomatoes, he would put them to shame with how red he was becoming. He cleared his throat.

“As your leader, I’m abusing my power to tell you all that we are never to discuss this matter again-”

“But-”

“NEVER!” And he walked away, a certain stiffness in his shoulders.

**The Phantom Thieves will never let him live it down.**


End file.
